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Self Worth

Self Worth | Define Self Worth | How Do You Define Self Worth

Self Worth

How Do You Define Your Self Worth?


A lot of people are searching for Self Worth. More importantly though, everyone is searching for how to define self worth.

Have you ever asked yourself these thing, ever Googled these, or ever had some ‘self talk’ dialogue in your soul about these thing:

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Dictionary.com defines self worth as:

  • the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person
  • respect for or a favorable opinion of oneself

But, what about you?

Yes, Y-O-U!

How do you define self worth?

I want you to pause a moment and think about that question for a minute while you listen to this video.

The video is titled “What You’re Worth” from Mandisa (I went ahead and posted the lyrics below the video as well)

Click the play button, but don’t “just hear” this video.

Stop a second. Pause. Pause the phone’s notifications. Put down the insta tweeder gram book.

Push play and let your ears hear this song and audibly absorb the words.

Scroll through while the song is playing and let your eyes visually consume the words of this song into your soul.

Keep listening and scrolling. Below the video and lyrics, we’re going to talk a bit more about Self Worth 😉

Come on, ladies!

Who you gotta be
What you gotta do
What you gotta say
If you gotta bend too far to please, you’re gonna break

Yeah they dragged you down
And left you low
But they can’t take your soul
Set it free
Set it free
Let it go

You gotta fight
Stand up strong
You got a fire
So let it burn on
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
You gotta roar
Get up and shout
Ain’t gotta blend in
Go on and stand out
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha

Sing, Britt!

They might think those dark deeds hide behind the veil
But the light shines in and innocence has never been for sale

Yeah, they dragged you down
And left you low
But they can’t take your soul
Set it free
Set it free
And let it go (yeah!)

You gotta fight
Stand up strong
You got a fire
So let it burn on (let it burn on!)
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
You gotta roar
Get up and shout
Ain’t gotta blend in
Go on and stand out (Go on and stand out!)
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha

Show show show show
Show ’em what you’re worth (Show ’em watcha)
Show ’em what you’re worth (Show ’em watcha)
Yeah, yeah
Show show show show
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth

I got this funky kinda swagger
Only some can understand-a
The kinda swag that only comes from my designer
See, I’m not sensitive
To who you think I is
I’ve been created for a purpose that is solely His
Know what I’m worth and, aye!
Don’t plan on playing games
I’m a destiny’s child
I say His name, say His name
Jesus the only one
Stick closer than a friend
And watch that fire deep inside you never die again

You gotta fight
Stand up strong
You got a fire
So let it burn on (Let it burn on!)
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
(Come on and show ’em what you’re worth!)
You gotta roar
Get up and shout
Ain’t gotta blend in
Go on and stand out
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em whatcha
Show ’em what you’re worth
Show ’em what you’re worth

Yes, girl!


Ok, so Let’s talk for a second about your Self Worth, Self Value, Self Esteem, and how you see yourself.

Ready?

Let’s DO THIS!

Look, a lot of people define self worth through different lenses, filters, criteria, and experiences.

Childhood Self Worth

The part after this is the most crucial piece of content to understanding your Self Worth. But first, let’s talk about our foundation of Self Worth.

We’ve all had different parents, moms, dads, adoptive parents, second parents, step parents, or some one else lay the foundation of Self Worth when we were children.  There’s no way around that. We were all born. Regardless of how you define household, we were all children who have lived in a household.  Your parents have shaped your self worth.

You need to realize that your parents have indeed helped define a portion of your self worth.  For some of you, your parents did a great job of defining your self worth by instilling values and character into the very core of the soul that defines your self worth.

Nevertheless, there are parents who have done a horrible job of defining, instilling, and laying the foundation of self worth during your childhood.  Call it crap, call it drama, call it whatever phrase you’d like to.  But it’s absolutely critical for your self worth, that you call it something. Define it.

There’s a great quote by Dr. Phil that says, “You Can’t Change What You Don’t Acknowledge”.

Your childhood was good, bad, or any degree of “in between” both sometimes good and sometimes…. eh….  not so positive.
Call it. Label it. Name it. Define it. Acknowledge it.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Self Worth forms in Childhood. Your self worth doesn’t stop forming there though!” quote=”The very beginning of Self Worth forms in Childhood. Your self worth doesn’t stop forming there though!” theme=”style3″]

Regardless of a rocky foundation or a solid and firm foundation, it’s absolutely imperative that you realize and remember that the very beginning of your life, the very first layer of your foundation, and your initial definition of Self Worth was established in your childhood.

Is your Self Worth defined by your childhood?

Perhaps. But I hope it did not stop there!

Internal Dialogue

We’ve all got internal dialogue that is revolving around in our heads.  It’s that self talk that we don’t ever say, but we sometimes think it.  But there’s really two different elements to our internal dialogue:

What Comes In
-and-
What Stays In

Wait, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Your self worth is ultimately controlled by you.  But think about your self worth for a minute and you’ll start to realize that your Self Worth is only defined by those two factors.

What Comes In:

Regarding your Self Worth, let’s define “what comes in” as being those thoughts which originate from something or someone EXTERNAL.

Self Worth | Define Self Worth Entering Our Soul | Defining Self Worth
Self Worth is sometimes defined by what comes into our soul

No matter what is posted on Facebook, regardless of what is pinned on Pinterest, or what motivational self worth quote is circling the innerwebs and social feeds, there is always and will always be an element of your Self Worth that you CAN NOT CONTROL.

Again: Accept it. Take a deep breath. Let it digest into your soul. Acknowledge It.

No matter who you marry, who you divorce, which person you block on Facebook, the family members you closely associate with, or whom you choose to do business, there will always be an element of your Self Worth which comes from an external source.

  • Maybe it was your parents.
  • Perhaps it was that relationship in high school.
  • What about that message that suddenly popped up on Facebook Chat?
  • Was it something someone said at some networking meeting?
  • Possibly it was a spouse.

Look, the point here is that no child is born, no one came into existence, there’s no adult who exists in the real world, both now, in the past or ever in the future, who simply exists in a vacuum.  Your self worth never has been, nor ever will be, 100% immune, to everything that comes from someone else’s actions and/or words.

…unless you’re in a movie, stuck on an island, and have a volleyball named Wilson, which isn’t real 😉

You can have Boundaries, set limits, create distance, invite the relationships you want, and be selective of whom you chose to interact with. And all those aforementioned are very healthy positive avenues for creating and defining your Self Worth.

Shared memes, trendy images, theories, and cutesy quotes aside for a second, always remember that a part of your Self Worth originates from your environment, your surroundings, books you choose to read or not read, posts in your feed that you choose to click on and read (and then subsequently go on to REshare with others. ….which is what you’re about to do in a few minutes, right?) and other people that you interact with either by choice or by chance.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Always remember that a portion of your Self Worth originates from others.” quote=”Always remember that a portion of your Self Worth originates from others.” theme=”style3″]

But that’s not ultimately what determines your Self Worth though, is it?

We’ve established that no one is immune to external stimuli or people which can & will have an affect on our Self Worth. But what happens “AFTER” is the final deciding factor which determines our self worth.

  • What happens AFTER the boss says something bad that had an affect on your self worth?
  • What happens AFTER the kid at the grocery store innocently asked you if you were pregnant?
  • What happens AFTER someone commented something hurtful on your Facebook post?

See where we’re headed here 😉

Sometimes we continue to blame others for our own self esteem, our self value, and our self worth.  But assigning blame to someone else doesn’t help.  Actually, blaming someone else is nothing short of self destructive!

[clickToTweet tweet=”Assigning blame to someone else places power in their hands. The POWER is YOURS! TAKE IT BACK!!” quote=”Assigning blame to someone else places power in their hands. The POWER is YOURS! TAKE IT BACK!!” theme=”style3″]

What Stays In

Someone once mentioned the phrase “Flush and Fill”.  I can see some of you already scratching your head thinking “what does Flush and Fill mean” and, in your head, you’re probably imagining something like this:

Flush and Fill

….or maybe you’ve never seen that before in your life & you’re somewhat wishing that you could UNsee it. Either way, let’s continue 😉

The point there is that our soul, our hearts, our minds, and our very nature of Self Worth can indeed have some parallels to a commode.

Poop happens, right?  Of course it does!

But how many of us go to the bathroom and simply make a purposeful choice to not flush?  Who wants to leave their metaphorical poop 😉 in the commode?  No one! Right?

So, the term Flush and Fill is now starting to take on a bit of understood similarities to our own self worth.

Look, there’s a billion articles all over the webs about gaining self esteem, building up your own self worth, and having better self dialogue within your own soul.  But let’s keep it simple for a minute.

Flush and Fill

Whether it’s going for a walk, going to the gym, reading a good book, watching a favorite movie, spending time with (the right) someone else, reading happy quotes, resharing cute motivational Facebook images, hanging out with a group of friends, writing in a journal, leaving the perfectionist mindset, meditating, cooking, (or anything else in a host of infinitely growing options)

…..the point is to take those toxic thoughts and  flush away anything and everything that is filling your soul and damaging your self worth.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Self Worth and Commodes both need to be FLUSHED & FILLED. Sometimes multiple times per day!” quote=”Self Worth and Commodes both need to be FLUSHED & FILLED. Sometimes multiple times per day!” theme=”style3″]

In your own way (whatever venue you might choose) you’ve made a conscience purposeful choice to NOT NOT NOT keep that toxicity in your soul, in your mind, and in your heart, right?  GREAT! Now fill your metaphorical (yet oh so realistic) tank back up with something positive!

Flush and Fill! It’s starting to make even more sense now isn’t it?

It’s true that what comes into your eyes and ears can indeed be a predominantly huge factor in shaping your self worth. But what STAYS in your heart, STAYS in your soul, STAYS in your inner dialogue, and STAYS in your mind…. that’s the part that you DO CONTROL!

You DO HAVE the choice to flush the poop and fill it with something better.  You make that choice each and every moment of your life.  As a matter of fact, we all make that choice several times a day in each and every moment that we live in.

  • It IS in YOUR CONTROL to not keep the damaging words of your parents in your head.
  • It IS in YOUR CONTROL to not harbor the hurt from that toxic relationship.
  • It IS in YOUR CONTROL to remember your past experiences, all the while making decisions to choose a different future.

Remember reading the part that said, “What comes in” & “What stays in”? Yeah. That was one of those soul shaking eye openers, right?

This isn’t one of those “take a moment and contemplate” type of scenarios.  This is more of a “life changing moment”.

You need, I need, your friends need, we all need to realize our self worth.


In the comments below, I want you to comment something very, Very, VERY special with intent and with specific purpose:

Who is one person who has made a positive impact on your own Self Worth?

  1. First, in the comments, name them.  Yes, use their name.
  2. Next, comment on a specific moment in your life, something that they’ve done, that’s made a lasting and positive impact in shaping your own self worth.  Now, whack that
  3. The easiest and last step is really simple. Use the social share buttons below and tag that person as you share post.  Ssshhhhhhh……. don’t tell ’em what you did. Make it a surprise.  Just say something like, “Hey, I mentioned you…..” and let them find your comment. 😉

 

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